Your Midlife Drinking Type is: Comforter
Alcohol has become a way to make yourself feel better when life feels hard, flat, lonely or just a bit too much. But deep down, you know there's another way...
❓ Why Comforters Reach for a Drink
You’ve gotten used to alcohol being there at the end of a difficult day. A reward, a release, a bit of company, or something to look forward to when there hasn’t been much else that felt like it was just for you.
You find yourself reaching for a drink when you’re tired, fed up, bored, disappointed or in need of a little comfort—even when drinking wasn’t part of the plan.
You know that alcohol doesn’t solve whatever happened that day. You also know that it can leave you feeling worse tomorrow. But in that moment, tomorrow feels a long way off, and the drink feels like something you can have right now.
You may have other things that help, but they don’t always feel as easy, immediate or reliable. A bath needs running. A walk needs energy. Talking means admitting that something is wrong. A drink only needs pouring.
You know that it’s time for a change, but the thought of taking away one of the few things you still look forward to can feel more like a loss.
🚷 Where the Comforter Pattern Leads
So things carry on carrying on until one day you wake up and realise...
- The thing you reach for to feel better is regularly leaving you feeling worse.
- Alcohol is taking up more of the space that rest, care, connection and enjoyment used to fill.
- You don’t want drinking to remain your answer every time you need something more real from the day.
⏩ Instead...
Picture yourself at the end of one of those days. Tired, flat, wanting something that's just for you.
You reach for the thing you already set up for exactly this moment — the show you're saving, the call you actually pick up, the low/no drink you enjoy properly instead of necking whatever's open. It's not more effort than pouring a glass; it's already there, waiting, the same way the wine was.
And if you do have alcohol anyway, it's because you fancied it — not because it was the only thing in reach that worked.
That's what changing the Comforter pattern looks like: the drink stops being the only thing you've made easy for yourself.
🌱 Your First Steps Towards Drinking Differently
How do I get there, Denise?
Taking this quiz was Step 1 (pats self firmly on back 😉👍🏾)
Step 2 is to download your free Comforter’s bonus, Drinking For Company: Why We Reach For
A Glass When We're On Our Own.
Inside your free guide, you’ll get:
✅ A simple Notice It, Sit With It, Fill It process for managing the moments when you want company or comfort from a drink
✅ Guided questions to help you identify what you’re feeling, what you’re missing and what you actually need
✅ A personal record of which alternatives worked, which didn’t and what to have ready next time
All so that you can work out what you’re really asking alcohol to give you and find more than one way to get it.
🎧 Your Comforter Listening List
The more you understand what sits behind your urge to drink, the easier it becomes to make a different choice. These Mindful Drinking & Moderation in Midlife Podcast episodes will help you take that understanding further.
Click the tiles to listen →
🔋 Taking Back The Power of Choice
So now that you know that there is something that you can do to take back the power of choice from alcohol, your final step is to embark on a journey to a life less intoxicated and start your 4-Week Midlife Mindful Drinking Reset.
The 4WR is created with Comforter drinkers like you firmly in mind.
Week 1 helps you notice the moments when you’re looking to alcohol for comfort and what was happening before the thought of a drink even arrived.
Week 3 is where you start building other ways to get what you need from those moments. Ways that fit your life, work quickly enough to be useful and don’t feel like another chore being added to the list.
And because knowing what you need doesn’t automatically make it easy to act differently, Weeks 2 and 4 help you put boundaries around your drinking and create a longer-term approach you can actually live with.
"The prompts for what I’m afraid will happen if I don’t drink. The reasons I have been giving myself in the past, when scrutinised, either don’t exist, are ridiculous, are obsolete or are already the case, and I’ve been fine. It’s given me a sense of release to be ok not to drink either at home after work or in social situations."
- Kerryn F
The Reset isn’t about ‘going sober’ or saying you have to give up booze forever.
It’s about taking back the power of choice over alcohol on your own terms.
You can find out more about the 4 Week Midlife Mindful Drinking Reset below.
And know that while your journey to a life less intoxicated starts with a single step, you’ve already taken the first two today!
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P.S. Remember to download your free quiz bonus, Drinking For Company: Why We Reach For
A Glass When We're On Our Own and start your journey to a life less intoxicated now!
Meet your Mindful Drinking Mentor
Hi, I'm Denise Hamilton-Mace (Dee, to friends), and I've been drinking differently for over 5 years now. After a 24-year stint in hospitality, drinking alcohol daily and partying like it was 1999, it wasn't until one hangover too many and a very upset little boy that I decided it was time to start taking back the power of choice from alcohol.
Now, as a podcast host, writer and public speaker on all things moderation in midlife, I'm on a mission to help as many people as possible to do the same, all on their own terms.
Welcome to your life less intoxicated!